


Lace me up and fall in love

by miimin



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Past Violence, Past minor character death, and their constipated feelings, attempted arranged marriages, description of past illness, generally quite fluff indulgent, loyal servant taeil and prettily dressed prince sicheng, world's best little brother renjun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23105962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miimin/pseuds/miimin
Summary: Taeil thinks it'd be easier to send his master off to arranged marriages if he didn't have to lace up the young prince's corset every time. And so far, Taeil can’t keep count the number of times he’s fallen for Sicheng.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Moon Taeil, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, implied noren - Relationship
Comments: 13
Kudos: 66
Collections: Winwin Fic Fest Round 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! working on this fic has been such a fun yet challenging journey and i'm so glad it's finally out! winil is such a cute ship and i hope everyone enjoys the mix of fluff, pinning and (light) angst!  
> and thank you so much to my wonderful beta!! you've helped me with so much ;;  
> (and for clarity's sake, countries are called kingdoms and in this fic, china is split into different kingdoms)

Mornings are calm, quiet things. They’re one of Taeil's favourite things. It is natural for Taeil to wake up six past seven in the morning, as his body clock tells him to. He’ll prepare himself swiftly for the day, rinsing himself and drying his hair briskly. Then he makes his way to the palace kitchen where he greets the maids and cooks, collecting the breakfast pastries and gathering the ingredients for a cup of coffee with extra milk. The maids tell him again and again that they can easily brew the portion of coffee beforehand but Taeil politely denies, saying he has his own special way of crafting the bittersweet morning elixir. This is his routine.

Once everything is neatly gathered in the birch wood butler tray, Taeil wheels it to the east wing of the palace, down the halls and past many doors. Soon enough, he reaches the end of the hallway. Taeil opens the door to a study room which connects to his destination.

He knocks despite knowing the action’s superfluous—his knocks almost always go unheard. "Your highness.”

“I'm coming in," Taeil says, voice a bit louder as he raps his knuckles on the wooden door. 

No response, as expected. Taeil quietly opens the doors to let himself in.

The room is big. Maybe thrice as large as Taeil's measly servant's room. Sky blue curtains suspend themselves from gold rods from the ceiling, hanging in a untouched lull until Taeil parks the cart by the large king-sized bed and draws the heavy curtains to reveal lighter, translucent day curtains. Sunlight immediately flocks in and shines onto the closed eyelids of the sleeping figure cocooned beneath the duvet on the plush bed.

"Your highness, it's time to wake up," Taeil calls out. He gains no response so he repeats the sentence again with a voice as gentle as ever and walks towards the tray of food, selecting tarts and savory treats Taeil knows the prince is most fond of.

"Your high-"

"I'm not waking up unless you call me by my name," the prince whines under the covers and turns his back to Taeil. Taeil sighs, affectionately. He's heard the same thing for the better part of a decade but he doesn't get sick of it.

"My prince, it's time to wake up. I brought your favourites. pineapple tart and _har gow,"_ Taeil says as if he's tantalising a kitten with a toy. He can already see the torso of the prince shift, like he's trying to stop himself from falling for Taeil's words.

"I brought warm milk with honey too. A treat for this morning," Taeil hums and retrieves the honey dipper from the honey jar and drizzles the decadent golden syrup into his prince’s warm teacup of milk. The prince immediately turns around, rising from his blanket cocoon and stares all wide-eyed at the beverage. Soon after, he furrows his eyebrows, realising he'd allowed himself to be baited by Taeil. Sicheng glares at his butler, making grabby hands at the drink regardless.

"Good morning to you too, Sicheng," Taeil's grin grows wider and his eyes resemble crescents. Sicheng grumbles back and blows on the sweetened milk before drinking it. 

Breakfasts are quiet, calming things. Another one of Taeil's favourite things.

He sets the tray of food by Sicheng's lap carefully and pours a cup of coffee from the french press. Sicheng doesn't drink coffee. The prince is not a fan of the bitter taste and longs more for sweets. 

The cup of coffee is for Taeil. Taeil loves coffee and Sicheng takes it upon himself to ensure Taeil brings a cup of coffee along with him every morning, otherwise Taeil would never dare to let himself indulge in such a privilege—let alone daily. It's become an unspoken routine by now; Sicheng leaves the french press untouched and watches contently as the other savors the drink.

"You're meeting the prince from the other kingdom with the queen today. Prince Jung Jaehyun from the south kingdom, right?" Taeil asks as he retrieves Sicheng's clothes from the closet. Truthfully, he doesn't need to ask. Taeil knows this day by heart and dreads it. _Meeting_ means getting to know other princes or princesses from neighbouring kingdoms, and if all goes well, Sicheng gets engaged. 

It's not as if today's affair is the first time Sicheng is being sent off for marriage. Six months after Sicheng became of age two years ago, he'd been arranged again and again for marriage, each time coming back unwed. Taeil heaves a sigh of relief every time that happens. He doesn't think he could bear to watch Sicheng wed another without his heart shattering to pieces.

"I am. I've heard good things about him too. Tall, good body, handsome, nice and caring to everyone, started managing the harbours of his kingdom when he was just fifteen," Sicheng lists at the tip of his fingers. He looks bored and uninterested but Taeil doesn't notice that. Taeil is busying himself with undoing the buttons of Sicheng's nightgown from his mid sternum down all the way down. 

_So he's essentially the perfect son, the perfect prince, the perfect husband,_ are the words Taeil doesn't say. He doesn't want Sicheng to realise that if he hasn't. 

"Are you just going to stare at me or are you going to help me put my corset on." Sicheng taps Taeil's thighs with his knees from where the elder was standing between the prince's legs. Taeil doesn't realise that he had already unbuttoned Sicheng's nightgown the whole way and remained there, staring blankly at Sicheng's chest. _Oh._

"You always get like this before I go out to meet people from other kingdoms," Sicheng casually says as Taeil laces his corset on. "You always touch me more too," Sicheng points out when Taeil's palms rest on his hips ten seconds longer than necessary.

"Oh. Sorry. I'm sorry," Taeil snatches his hands away and plants them by his sides.

Sicheng shrugs, saying he doesn't mind. Taeil shuffles on his feet, retrieving the flowy white blouse Sicheng likes to wear on formal events. He dresses Sicheng in front of the mirror and helps with his hair too.

With deft fingers, Taeil finishes in no time. He rotates Sicheng to face the mirror and it takes Taeil’s breath away. A flowy white blouse tucked into high waisted suit pants complimented by a sapphire blue blazer looks like the epitome of stunning. A small clip carved in the shape of the kingdom's flower in Sicheng's hair ornamented with delicate silver dangling chains makes his eyes shine. Taeil doesn't think he can stare too long without becoming red in the face.

"I feel really pretty," Sicheng comments when he admires himself in the mirror, tilting his face in different angles to test how light falls on his cheeks, and how it reflects in his eyes.

"You _are_ really pretty," Taeil looks in the eyes of Sicheng's reflection. He closes the distance between them to secure cufflinks on each of Sicheng's cuffs—the kingdom's crest on his right and a matching one Sicheng and Renjun picked together on his left.

Even when Taeil is done clipping the cufflinks on, his hands linger on Sicheng's. He doesn't mean to and Sicheng doesn't make an effort to pull away. Sicheng sees the look on Taeil's face. He's seen it so many times but he can never put a finger on what it is that Taeil is feeling.

"Are you-"

"I think-"

They pause, looking at each other and Sicheng makes a motion for Taeil to go first. 

Silence comes from Taeil first. He looks unsure but eventually opens his mouth to say:

"Make the kingdom proud," Taeil smiles meekly and squeezes Sicheng's hands. Sicheng nods, unsure as he's not up for making promises. He has things he needs to let Taeil know.

Before Sicheng gets his turn to speak, another servant knocks on the door, informing Sicheng that he is due to depart now. The prince looks from the door, to Taeil, and to the door again. When the servant calls again, Sicheng replies with a short acknowledgment and reluctantly releases Taeil's hands from his hold.

"I'll be back soon, I promise. Take care of Renjun for me," Sicheng looks back at Taeil one last time before exiting his room. Taeil chuckles, briefly, and promises he will.

Even after Sicheng is far enough from the room for his footsteps not to be heard, Taeil stands still in his place. He breathes in, and out, and in, and out. His chest feels too constricted and he hates the feeling, but it's something he is used to feeling everytime Sicheng leaves to be potentially wed in another kingdom. He sighs. 

"Cleaning the room like this won't be efficient," Taeil mumbles to himself and makes his way to open the windows. Outside, he sees Sicheng entering the carriage with his mother, the queen.

"Make the kingdom proud," he whispers as he watches Sicheng's back. "But please don't break my heart."

Sicheng might come back as a wedded man. Taeil just hopes with every fibre in his body that he doesn't.

•

Taeil doesn't like that idea, but he has no say in this.

Taeil knows his place. He knows damn well that at the end of the day, he's just the son of the late palace cobbler, who was cast out of his home after his mother had caught him seeing another woman. Taeil isn't sure why he was cast out too but looking back on things, it was probably because he resembled his father's features too much for her liking. Not quite a valid reason but there's nothing Taeil can do about it.

The servant's sector of the palace became Taeil's home from then on. He worked as his father's right hand man, a kitchen cleaner, and occasionally a page boy. Things were decent in general and became even better when he became the playmate of the young prince and his younger brother; Sicheng and Renjun respectively.

Then came a time Taeil started noticing something off with his father. It started with a simple fever, but then it seemed to never go away. At that time, young wide-eyed Taeil didn't know better. 

_It will go away soon,_ his father promised and Taeil believed. However, the fever persisted and Taeil’s father bloomed with scarlet blotches, followed by a tongue that looked too red and white to be normal. Maids who cared bared Taeil from entering his father's room and only allowed him to stand by the door. Taeil tried protesting but the maids held him back from entering. He thought his father would tell his colleagues to let Taeil go but instead, he gently told Taeil to stop struggling. A confused child he was but his father didn't acknowledge it and spoke to him as if the ten feet distance between didn't exist.

For seven days, Taeil's father was bedridden and on the eighth, it became his deathbed. Taeil cried. He cried over not being able to be by his father's side during his last few days, over his failure to make things different. Even when he was forcefully dragged away by the other palace servants, he cried out for his father one last time, hoping his desperation would wake his sole pillar of support up from his eternal slumber.

Like a snowball billowing down into an avalanche, matters continued to get worse.

"Pack your bags! We don't need an extra child to feed in the palace," the head chef barked at Taeil, brandishing a butcher's knife horrifyingly close to Taeil. In a reckless strike, the blade slashed a shallow cut on his upper arm, an inch and a half long and blood seeping out to form a flowing trail.

Poor Taeil remained on the hard kitchen tiles, knees too weak to support himself standing. He cried more, begging for time to prove his worth. Other maids and butlers stood as still and quiet as statues, none brave enough to help Taeil.

"You _will_ put that knife down if you cherish keeping your arm," Sicheng hissed, steadfast and brave. Taeil's head snapped to the entrance of the kitchen, where the crowd had parted for the young prince.

Sicheng stood the shortest in the room but with authority coursing through him, he felt like the tallest. The room fell silent and the butcher's knife clattered as it fell to the ceramic tiles. Sicheng kneeled on the floor, unbefitting his rank as prince, and reached to clasp Taeil's shivering hands.

"Let's go somewhere else. You won't be kicked out," Sicheng instructed. "I promise, Taeil."

At that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the blood trickling down his arm nor the servants whispering amongst themselves. At that moment, only Sicheng mattered and it has stayed like that ever since.

They walked hand in hand out of the kitchen—Sicheng with his head held high and Taeil focused on their fingers intertwined.

“And, oh!” Sicheng suddenly stopped in his path. “I don’t think my palace needs a chef whose knife has been used as a weapon. I no longer expect to see you here,” Sicheng stated coldly, hand gripping tighter on Taeil's. 

Taeil looked at him in wonder. He pondered when the nine-year-old prince had developed such a commanding presence. They continued to walk down the tall hallway in silence. Taeil had no idea where they were headed to, but he did know his arm was still bleeding.

“Um... Your highness, my arm…” Taeil softly muttered. Sicheng turned around in the middle of the foyer they had reached. Taeil gestured to his arm, still bleeding with occasional drops cascading to the floor. “Right, I didn’t think of that,” Sicheng’s eyebrows met and his lips formed a pout. The prince looked around the room and when nothing seemed useful, he untied the baby blue cotton ribbon attached to his blouse and wrapped it around Taeil’s wound.

“But it’s going to get dirty,” Taeil half-whined. He spotted Sicheng rolling his eyes. “That doesn’t matter,” Sicheng shrugged.

In the midst of tying the cloth to Taeil’s arm, Sicheng heard a familiar deep voice. The one he’d heard since birth. 

“So I see you tried firing the head chef,” the king announced from the top of the stairs. Sicheng rolled his eyes, again. “I didn’t try. I _did_ fire him,” Sicheng elaborated, not looking up from where he was perfecting the knot he tied. The king huffed a sigh and directed his cold eyes to Taeil. “And you,” he deadpanned. Taeil flinched, posture straightening, and bowed. “Y-your majesty.”

“And where do you plan to go now? You have no home to return to, and it’s possible you caught your father’s illness too. Have you considered that your presence may pose a threat to Sicheng’s health?”

 _Crap,_ Taeil cursed to himself. _Crap crap crap,_ Taeil cursed again and again. He wasn’t too concerned about not having a home. He feared hurting Sicheng more than anything. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates and his mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air.

“I don’t-” Taeil didn’t know what to say.

“That’s impossible,” Sicheng pointed out. “No one was allowed near Moon Sungil in the past week and even when he passed, no one other than the doctor was allowed within a six feet radius of the bed,” Sicheng glared at his father, eyes challenging and brave. “And I already decided,” Sicheng said. “He’ll stay in the palace like I promised him.”  
  
“Promises mean nothing, Sicheng. In the palace, servants only stay if they have a purpose.”

“Then… He’ll be mine. He’ll be my butler. He'll continue to work here, serve me and protect me,” Sicheng said with conviction. The king raised his brows in amusement, but nodded either way.

“Then I expect great things from you, Moon Taeil. Sicheng’s wellbeing will always be above yours. Remember that.”

“I will!” Taeil practically shouted. “I swear on everything that I’ll serve and protect his highness with my life.” Not only did Taeil now have the certainty of a roof to live under, he also would be able to stay by Sicheng’s side. He’s going to have to be crawling on his knees and fighting for his life before he even considers leaving Sicheng’s side. 

Later that night, Sicheng sat at his study room desk, diligently reading a book. Contracts had been signed earlier to declare and officiate Taeil as his butler. It was a relatively simple process but it still made Taeil nervous nonetheless. Even hours later when most things had settled, Taeil fidgeted in his spot by the study table. He had finished the first task Sicheng had given him which was to bring the prince a cup of honey milk. 

Sicheng had told him earlier that once Taeil delivered the warm beverage, he was dismissed for the night. But fifteen minutes had passed and Taeil had not left the room. Simultaneously, they opened their mouths to speak. 

"You know you can leave ri-"

"I'm yours to command. I'll do anything you wish," Taeil blurted out faster. Sicheng blinked once, then again. "Huh?" the prince questioned. Taeil jutted out his lower lip and pouts. He took fifteen minutes to put together those two sentences and he didn’t think he could come up with more on the spot without giving away his nervousness.

“I- um, I’ll do anything for you. Just tell me what you need and I’ll bring it to you. Um-” Taeil fumbled. The next sentence was something he read in storybooks, things loyal knights would say to profess their commitment, which Taeil thought he could say too. “Your wish is my command, your highness,” He said with a bit of confidence. Sicheng quirked an eyebrow and settled his book down. He stood up from his seat and faced Taeil about a foots’ worth away. “You have really clear eyes,” Sicheng observed as he tilted his upper body towards Taeil. Taeil must have had an amusing expression in response as Sicheng giggled.

“I really mean it-” 

“I know you do,” Sicheng smiled and held onto Taeil’s hand, which was only a bit bigger than Sichengs’ own. “Your eyes tell me you do,” the prince whispered this time, too soft for Taeil to hear. At the same time, Taeil’s cheeks flushed. Sicheng had never held his hand for this long. The only time Sicheng had held his hand was in fleeting moments when they were playing a game of tag with Renjun chasing them. 

“Oh and one more thing. Only call me ‘your majesty’ in front of Mother, Father and the other servants. Otherwise, I want you to call me Sicheng. Calling me ‘your highness’ feels weird,” Sicheng instructed. Taeil paled a little. “I can’t do that!” Taeil exclaimed. “Yes, you can! You said you’d do anything!” Sicheng countered, arms akimbo in his excitement to challenge his new butler.

They spent a significant amount of time butting heads but by the end of it, they were both doing their best to contain their laughter.

“I know you’re being stubborn now but I swear you’ll call me by my name without batting an eye one day!”

And now, a decade later, Taeil still has his moments where he refuses to call Sicheng by his name. Not out of reluctance but out of a fondness for teasing Sicheng. He’s grown to love teasing the prince just like how he’s grown to love his prince.

•

Sicheng and his mother reach the Jungs’ kingdom—South Korea—by noon, just in time for a sumptuous lunch served by the palace. Sicheng is seated across Jaehyun and they talk from there. Jaehyun is like everything Sicheng has heard about him; handsome, kind, has the voice of an angel, smart. Sicheng guesses Jaehyun is worth he could bear to stay a bit longer this time.

When lunch passes, Sicheng and his mother are directed by Jaehyun and his father to the drawing room. They're seated across each other and Sicheng has to forcefully will himself from rolling his eyes throughout the chit chat session. The only thing spouting from each parent's mouth are achievements their child has done for the family and kingdom. While Sicheng could find this flattering, he really doesn't care.

Jaehyun, too, quietly listens. Without him noticing, Sicheng analyses the seemingly perfect prince. He's sweet but obviously more invested in throwing heart eyes at his bunny of a servant, who is tasked with refilling tea cups, than potentially getting married. 

Sicheng respects that, it’s fine, but he just doesn’t think a relationship between a member of royalty and a servant beneath them is realistic. There's no way they'd receive the approval of the kingdom. 

Maybe if societal approval didn't matter so much to Sicheng, he'd be in a different position by now.

•

King Jung offers Jaehyun and Sicheng some time alone together, and that's how Sicheng finds himself taking a stroll around the town with Jaehyun. As sweet as ever, Jaehyun takes the initiative to lead the conversation, pointing out landmarks here and there and telling their story. One thing Sicheng notices are the children bustling around town. They look a bit too scruffy to match the other children strolling with their parents and it makes Sicheng wonder. 

"Are orphans common here?" he asks, straightforward and to the point. Maybe it's the war that tore them apart. Jaehyun stops in his tracks and looks at Sicheng with eyebrows raised. He probably wasn't expecting such a question.

"If I'm being completely honest, they are. Parents often can't support so many children and babies being left at the orphanage are almost a daily norm," Jaehyun shrugs, expression mildly upset and finger pointing in the direction of the orphanage just a stone's throw away. 

"Ah," is the reply Sicheng gives. He doesn't ask if anything is being done to mitigate the issue nor does he question Jaehyun's non-committal tone to it. Instead, he trails away and purposely loses himself in the crowd. He's sure he can escape Jaehyun's watch for at least half an hour.

Sicheng briskly walks to the market they passed earlier. He feels around his blazer's inner pockets, retrieving enough money to last four families a year. His impromptu grocery list contains an array of items suitable for the orphanage to make up for the minimal resources they have.

"Four crates of fruits and vegetables, canned meat and daily milk deliveries to the orphanage on sixth street, right?" a grocer clarifies. Sicheng nods, and instructs these crates of assorted supplies to be sent weekly under an anonymous sender.

Later, he stands from afar, watching the orphanage caretaker and children practically glow from the abundance of food they’re receiving. Sicheng smiles, fulfilled and content with himself. Now, time to let himself be found by Jaehyun.

•

Sicheng returns to his kingdom within a week. His mother is quiet, like how she always is when meetings don't end with a definite contract of marriage. He hugs his mother, saying that he hopes things go better for her next time. Not really.

Taeil is the first to welcome him into the palace. He doesn't say anything but Sicheng can see how anxiousness has baked into his muscles. "Nothing happened, if you're wondering. I'm still very much unwed," Sicheng informs out of the blue while Taeil draws a bath for him. 

"Oh?" Taeil dips his hand into the water to check its temperature. His tone sounds a little too enthusiastic to be casual. "Yea. Just the same old _mother brags about what I've achieved my whole life_ thing," Sicheng strips himself and sinks into the warm bath. He sighs in relief when his muscles relax in the aromatic water.

"I thought he'd be the one," Taeil confesses while massaging shampoo onto Sicheng's scalp. Sicheng sighs again, closing his eyes and leaning his head back into Taeil's fingers. Taeil swoons and resists pulling himself closer to leave a kiss on Sicheng's forehead. "Isn't he perfect?" Taeil asks.

"Not for me, he isn't."

"Then what kind of person would be perfect for you?"

Sicheng doesn't reply immediately. He lets the question sink in and ponders how to reply.

"Loyal, cares for me, knows how to take care of people," Sicheng finally responds. He's not exactly picking traits he looks for in people, he's picking traits he sees in a certain person.

•

"They want you to ascend the throne within the next five years," Renjun prods Sicheng's ankle with his foot. They are both lying on the grass, breathless after playing fetch with one of the guard dogs. Taeil left them earlier, promising icy glasses of oolong tea when he gets back.

"They can afford waiting for an extra five years. It's not like they're that old," Sicheng spreads his arms by his side, effectively but gently smacking Renjun on the neck. Renjun coughs, shoving Sicheng's shoulder and laughing when he sees the sides of Sicheng's mouth tug upwards.

Renjun sighs. "I don't see why you bother going for those meetings. You always end up secretly running off somewhere! It's already happened thrice-"

"Four times."

"Okay, four times, and besides, it's not like you're interested in marrying anyone other than _him,"_ Renjun comments snarkily, throwing him a side-eye

"I… why do you think I want to marry Taeil?" Sicheng breath hitches. He won't ever let anyone know this, but there's been so many times Sicheng fantasised the taste of Taeil's lips, or how falling asleep in his arms would feel like.

"See? I didn't even mention his name and you already knew who I was talking about!" Renjun exclaims as he sits up, feeling a tad bit lightheaded from the sudden rush _. It was obvious who you were talking about,_ Sicheng mumbles.

"Why don't you tell mother and father you're already interested in someone within the kingdom, within the castle? Then they'll stop bringing you around the islands to find a partner."

"Don't be silly. They would never approve," Sicheng half-grunts, half-muses. "Whatever, I'll figure it out eventually. If I have to be wedded off to someone I have no interest in at the end of all things, then at least I'm doing the kingdom a favour," Sicheng explains. It's the same thing he's gone through with himself for about a year. 

If not for himself, then for the continuous prosperity of the kingdom. 

It seems Sicheng's words don’t sit well with Renjun since the younger scoots closer with a troubled expression. " _Gē_ , you don't really plan to ascend the throne in the end, do you?"

Meanwhile, Taeil returns to the duo with a tray of cold tea in his hands. He does what anyone would do and makes to alert the two that he's back with their drinks, but when he sees the noticeably duller atmosphere between them, he holds his tongue. He's not too close to them, but still within the radius to hear what they're saying.

Sicheng doesn't want to lie to his baby brother, so he responds, "I don't. I really don't." He can already feel a small build-up of dread. "I… don't think this kingdom is for me either." Sicheng can already feel his heart crumple when Renjun understands the implication of his words. 

Sicheng doesn't really want to say what's next, but Sicheng feels like Renjun deserves to know. "I've always wondered if there are other places out there where I’ll feel more-" Sicheng pauses to decide on a word adequate enough to express his thoughts. "-natural," he decides. 

_Natural._ It’s somewhat of a foreign concept to Sicheng when all his life, there’s been restrictions left and right. It was fine before it dawned upon him that there were boundaries he couldn’t cross, boundaries the kingdom has blindly been taught to guide their way of living.

"Is our kingdom not enough for you?" Renjun, eyes glossy and voice trembling. It's not obvious, but Sicheng can tell Renjun is letting his tears fall on the inside, letting the salty pearl drops cascade down to his gut.

Sicheng gulps. He can't keep a straight face knowing he's bringing his lion-hearted brother closer and closer to tears. "Not _not enough,_ just maybe… not suited for me. I'm sorry, Renjun," he confesses, apologises and sits up to hug his little brother tight. Maybe if Sicheng were braver, he’d choose to stay in the kingdom and fight for a change rather than gradually plot his departure.

Taeil stays silent the whole time, but the crunch of dried leaves under his shifting foot gives his presence away. Sicheng whips his head around, clutching Renjun tighter. There's a protective glare to Sicheng's eyes but when he sees it's Taeil, his muscles relax and beckons for the older to come over.

The three of them sit in silence. Renjun nurses his drink, blankly staring into the distance as he does. Taeil focuses on Sicheng, waiting for an explanation or anything that would reassure him that Sicheng won't leave him too. All Taeil gets is a smile from Sicheng, knowing and brief, but not willing to explain himself.

Taeil thinks to himself. Almost all his life, he knew he'll never leave Sicheng's side, but what if Sicheng leaves _him_ forever for another land?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will the pinning ever stop? stay tuned for chapter 2 next week! and what do you think of the first chapter?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears are shed in private and corsets are laced up once again for Sicheng to meet another prince.
> 
> "You know I'll always be by your side right? I'm here for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> picking up from right where we left off! here we see more emotional constipation but also a lot of tenderness. oh, and a scene with a playful sicheng naked on the bed with taeil on top of him... enjoy!

Later that night, Sicheng sits by the side of his bed, fiddling with the ribbons of his nightgown. Taeil, with a candelabra in his hold being the sole light source of the room, kneels down by his legs and takes one of Sicheng's hands into his. He takes his time to kiss each knuckle and when Sicheng asks what he's trying to do, Taeil responds, "You know I'll always be by your side right? I'm here for you."

It's a peaceful moment of tenderness and it's moments like these Sicheng dreams about. "I know you will," Sicheng arches a brow and pulls his hand away to pinch Taeil's cheeks. "Why are you being mushy all of a sudden?"

Taeil shrugs, saying he just felt like reminding Sicheng. That's not entirely true though, he wants Sicheng to maybe reassure him that the prince isn't going anywhere, or that even if he is, he'll tell Taeil so that he can follow suit by Sicheng's side.

This frustrating anticipation goes on for weeks. So many times, it looks as if the words "I'm planning to leave the kingdom one day" are on the tip of Sicheng's tongue. Taeil waits like an eager puppy so he can say he'll go wherever Sicheng goes. Though, Taeil questions if Sicheng would need him by his side.

•

"You'll be meeting the prince from Thailand in a week. Prince Ten Chittapon Leechaiyapornkul," the king says over dinner at their large, round mahogany table. Sicheng is seated just opposite him, halfway through spooning a bite of stir fried vegetables into his mouth. 

"So soon?" Sicheng asks after he swallows. _It's only been a month._ His eyes quickly dart to Taeil, who stands in the corner of the room with a pot of tea in hand while pretending not to hear the conversation. 

"Yes. And we hope you'll walk out of that castle as a wedded man. The Leechaiyapornkul family has more connections than we can count. Marrying into that family means we join forces with one of the most powerful kingdoms and have free access to trade routes connecting to six more cities. They even have access to some of the richest mines," his mother adds, the wealth of the foreign kingdom making her voice lilt with modicum greed. "Think about how much our kingdom would grow if all goes well, Sicheng."

Sicheng throws her a look. "I'll try my best," he says. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Renjun look away with a frown. And maybe he is imagining it, but Sicheng swears he sees Taeil inhale, shoulders tense and fingers gripping tighter on the ceramic pot.

•

Taeil is in the palace library the night before he has to prep Sicheng for the meeting. He reads through a book he picked up a few months ago but never got the chance to finish. The thoughts in his head are way too loud and annoying so Taeil tries drowning them out with other words. The thing is, the plot and happenings bear a resemblance way too similar to what Taeil went through as a child, and end badly—the protagonist grows to hate the only thing she thought could make her genuinely happy.

Taeil slams the book shut when he's done. His thoughts are amplified tenfold, and now he has the extra worry of if Sicheng would ever come to despise him, and if Taeil is making him happy enough. 

This is ambivalence. That's what Taeil finally pinpoints after he muffles the thoughts in his head.

It's ambivalence he feels when he has to lace Sicheng's corset up, watching Sicheng's already perfect features be accentuated, but then sent off for a stranger to bask in his ethereal beauty and soul. _It's unfair_ , Taeil scrunches his nose. He wishes he could keep Sicheng to himself longer, to hold him in his arms just a little bit to keep Sicheng safe from everything.

"Fuck," Taeil closes his eyes and leans his head back. The moonlight paints a pale glow on skin and it glistens when tears ornament his cheekbones.

Taeil chuckles pitifully to himself. He finds it pathetic to cry over someone he never had a chance to pursue romantically in the first place. That only makes him cry harder. His heart clenches and he buries his face into his hands. 

To make matters worse, his heart opens like a dam, releasing all the emotions he has kept pent up until now. How he misses his father, how Taeil was left with only a locket pendant containing one last handwritten letter, and how he never got to say goodbye. Taeil wonders if he perhaps did something so truly evil in his past life to deserve the feeling of knives in his heart. He retrieves the pendant from his pocket, opening it and reads the letter over and over. 

The letter is short and somewhat implicit in nature, but it's enough for Taeil. Tears drip down to the letter and Taeil makes quick work to keep the letter to prevent more tears from ruining the paper. He continues to let his tears fall. Taeil pretends his father is there to wipe his tears.

Silent as a ghost, Sicheng steps away from the ajar library door, nudging it closed with his feet.

•

The following morning comes, unfortunately.

Sicheng spent the night after returning to his room thinking.

The more Sicheng thinks about getting into an arranged marriage, the more he wants to run; the more he wants to run, the more he's haunted by the disappointed, disgruntled eyes of his family. It's suffocating and Sicheng feels like this whole ordeal might just squeeze the air out of his lungs.

Then he thinks about Taeil. He has no clue why Taeil cried, nor does Sicheng think he can outright ask without coming off as rude. Sicheng was never one to cry from another person's tears. He always told himself to be strong so he could be the one to wipe the tears of others. 

Even when Sicheng first saw Taeil cry in the kitchen, he stood strong. Last night was different though. Hearing Taeil's quivering breath and figure crumple into something so small made all the life drain out of Sicheng. Sicheng wanted to run to him, do whatever he had to do to bring Taeil the comfort he needed.

The thing is, his _wants_ contradict his actions. 

He runs from what he knows will hurt him, all to selfishly protect himself and like the coward he knows himself as, Sicheng walked away from Taeil too. 

So when Taeil wakes him up in the morning, they both don't bring up how their eyes are red and puffy. Breakfast passes silently and when it's time to dress Sicheng, Taeil almost wishes he doesn’t have to. 

"Taeil, hurts," Sicheng whispers when Taeil ends up pulling too tightly on the ribbon of his corset. Taeil whispers a _sorry_ back, and rubs his hands over the expanse of Sicheng's waist. Just when Sicheng was going to pull Taeil's hand to wrap around his waist, Taeil moves to fetch a blouse and a blazer similar to what he wore for the Jungs, except this one is magenta with silver buttons.

Sicheng is dressed with the same ornaments from last time too—his favourite two cufflinks and the thin-chained glass flower hairpin.

_So, so fucking pretty,_ Taeil thinks. He would say it out loud considering how he knows Sicheng likes being called pretty but saying it on this particular morning would just be awkward.

Taeil is refusing to look Sicheng in the eyes when he clasps the pins onto Sicheng's hair and that bothers Sicheng. It's not like the prince to feel this needy, ever, but Sicheng feels different today.

When Taeil is done, Sicheng steps forward half a foot and wraps his arms around Taeil's waist without warning. He pulls the butler snug to his chest and doesn't miss the way Taeil tenses. 

"I don't want you to be sad," Sicheng whispers like a child attempting to cheer an adult up. "You deserve every good thing," Sicheng hugs tighter. 

Taeil relaxes after his initial surprise and gets to process Sicheng's words. He can't say _"you're the reason I'm sad"_ because that's unfitting, furthermore untrue. Taeil hugs back, one hand on Sicheng's lower back and the other cupping the nape of the prince’s neck. "What makes you think I'm sad?" Taeil asks and Sicheng whines in response. "It's obvious, idiot. What's bothering you? I want to help."

Taeil can't say _"I'm upset because I might never be able to tell you I love you and that we will never get to be"_ nor dare he imagine saying _"boyfriends"_ either. That'll welcome more problems than it solves. So he tells Sicheng half of the truth. "I suppose I've been overthinking lately, coming up with more problems than I actually have to make things difficult for myself."

"What kind of problems?" 

"Mmm, such as whether or not I'm a good enough butler..."

Sicheng steps back and lifts a hand to tilt Taeil's chin up. They're looking eye to eye and Taeil can feel his palms sweat as Sicheng leans in closer.

"Can I tell you something?" Sicheng asks, breath fanning on Taeil's lips. Taeil stutters a "Yeah" and Sicheng continues.

"Your body never gives away if you're telling the truth or not. That's one thing I have always noticed. Whenever I'm with you, I have to just… see what your eyes are saying," the prince comments. It earns a surprised look from Taeil and he hastily thinks of what to reply.

"Then what are my eyes telling you now?"

That's when Sicheng frowns. "I don't know," he says and pulls away. He can hear faint footsteps padding towards their direction and Sicheng takes it as his cue to depart soon. Sicheng moves to give Taeil one last tight hug and dips his head to sniff the shampoo specifically only Taeil uses.

"You smell like lavender. I like that a lot," Sicheng whispers. The scent is a constant, Taeil is his constant. In the ever-changing world where fate threatens to steal, Sicheng knows Taeil will be his sweet lullaby. "I'll be back. Please take care of Renjun and yourself too."

Taeil blankly nods and waves back when Sicheng bids him farewell. Again, he's left alone with his thoughts. Like always, he pleads to every God he knows that Sicheng comes back unwed.

•

The usual period of time Sicheng is away during his meetings in other kingdoms is a week. Maybe a bit more. During this time, Taeil busies himself with taking care of Renjun and when Renjun soon shoos Taeil away, Taeil usually lends a helping hand to the palace bakers.

Pineapple tarts and pork floss buns are some of Sicheng's favourites, so Taeil makes those for him and extra for the other servants. A week flies by and when another three days pass, Taeil starts wondering why Sicheng has yet to return. For a while, Taeil wonders if he should find more hobbies like Renjun told him days ago so that his mind isn't constantly fixated on Sicheng. 

_I do have other hobbies,_ Taeil tries reasoning. _Like reading and baking._ When he shares this with Renjun, the young prince puffs his cheeks and challenges Taeil to name hobbies outside the venn diagram of _Dong Sicheng._

Taeil thinks more to himself, but soon Sicheng returns to the palace and all of Taeil's previous worries come flooding back. He files his other thoughts at the back of his head—a problem to be unpacked later— and scrambles to see if Sicheng has gone through any drastic change, like getting engaged.

To Taeil's complete relief, Sicheng is unwed. They go through their usual routine of the butler helping to bathe Sicheng and Taeil asks, "What was Prince Chittapon like? I… thought he'd be suitable."

Taeil thinks everyone is suitable because he doesn't believe in himself. Taeil has put Sicheng on a high pedestal with other members of royalty and left himself far below on the ground—where he knows Sicheng won’t look down to gaze at Taeil the way Taeil gazes at him. Sicheng deserves someone better; someone who lived in the same comfort as him, someone more than just a lowly commoner.

"Enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. He insisted on showing me around the kingdom since, and I quote, 'it's a waste to come so far and not look around!' He's crazy." Sicheng chuckles and sticks his leg up from the soapy water to draw an irregular line with his toes as if to prove his point, like how one would gesture with their arms.

"Oh," Taeil says, surprised. He always thought of the southeastern prince as someone strict looking, with eyes like a tiger focused on his prey. "What else?"

"He even brought me to an orphanage to play with the children. I didn't even have to- ah, nevermind. Regardless, he's nothing like the rumours people make him to be. He's like a damn kitten pouncing around," Sicheng tilts his head backwards to look up at Taeil, grinning as he does.

Taeil smiles back, massaging Sicheng's temple. "He sounds nice. Bet you had a lot of fun." Taeil is so, so tempted to lean down and kiss him. It's even more irresistible when Sicheng nuzzles his head into Taeil's hand. "I did. It's probably the most fun I've ever had during these meetings," Sicheng slumps down to lean against the padding on the arch of the tub and closes his eyes.

"Sicheng, come on," Taeil whines softly. "Don't fall asleep here. You know I can't carry you back to your bed."

"Yes, you can," Sicheng grins with his eyes still closed, voice sounding purposefully more tired. His breathing evens out and soon, Sicheng falls asleep. Taeil can't say he isn't surprised by this new accent of playfulness in the prince but Taeil doesn't not like it either. It's nice to see Sicheng in a better mood after weeks of unease.

When Taeil drains the water from the tub, Sicheng is still fast asleep. Taeil wraps Sicheng in a towel and carries the prince to his bed. "You're so careless. I could leave you like this," — naked with wet hair — "and you'd get sick because it's cold," he huffs and retrieves a nightgown. 

"But you won't. You won't ever leave me," Sicheng peeks an eye open. Taeil narrows his eyes. 

"I thought you were asleep."

" _Was._ But then I woke up when you threw me on my bed," Sicheng rolls over to lie on his stomach, covering his bare crotch. Taeil was just about to comment on Sicheng's lack of shame. 

"I didn't _throw_ you. I placed you on the bed less delicately then what's considered normal," Taeil rolls his eyes and Sicheng giggles.

"You're so playful today," Taeil wrestles with Sicheng to get his nightgown on. Sicheng wrestles back, dragging Taeil onto the bed. "I think it's because of Ten. He has really contagious happy energy."

Taeil struggles to dress Sicheng but he gets the task done. "Such a brat," Taeil coos endearingly under his breath for himself to hear. He's still on the bed, kneeling in between Sicheng's legs and watching the prince button the top half of his gown. He thinks about what Sicheng said earlier.

"You know… About what you said earlier about me never leaving you. You know that's true right? I'll never ever leave you," Taeil cups his hand on the outer side of Sicheng's thigh. Sicheng nods. "I know," he follows.

"But will you leave me to see the prince again? For another meeting?"

Sicheng stops buttoning his gown and looks at Taeil with what Taeil thinks is something akin to regret. "No, god," Sicheng sits up. "Ten is a good person as a friend and I won't ever marry him. You know why?"

"Why?" Taeil asks.

"Because in the time I spent with Ten, his body language told me his mood but his eyes never let me know what he was thinking," Sicheng emphasizes and pauses. "And you know what else?" he places a hand over Taeil's hand on his thigh. 

"His eyes are too shiny. I bet Kun will like him a lot," Sicheng flops back down onto the bed. "The royal from their kingdom always has a thing for shiny objects. And Kun said he wants a cat. They'd be perfect for each other."

Sicheng wants to also add that he won't marry someone he doesn't have feelings for, but he can't even promise himself that.

The sober atmosphere is lost but it gives Taeil the reassurance he needs for now. 

Quicker than Taeil could retrieve a towel to dry Sicheng's hair, Renjun bursts into the room, flailing an opened envelope in hand. 

"A letter! I got an invitation from him!" Renjun exclaims, cheeks red and looking like an excitable puppy with a wagging tail. "So late? And from who?" Sicheng asks, shifting himself and Taeil so he can listen to Renjun while Taeil dries his hair.

"Prince Je-" Renjun catches his breath. "Prince Jeno! We've been exchanging letters ever since the spring gala last year. He's really kind, loves cats and I think we have-" he abruptly pauses. He's not panting anymore but his cheeks are still tinted red. Sicheng thinks he knows what's going on.

"You two have?" Sicheng prompts, eyebrows wiggling as he does. Renjun sputters, forgetting how to speak. Taeil picks up too, pausing his task and joining in. "Is this first love I see?"

Sicheng thinks it's very funny to fluster his little brother, so he teases, "Why not invite him to our kingdom? I'm sure we can arrange a date for you two easily."

"A date?" Renjun almost screams.

"You heard him," Taeil chimes.

This sets Renjun off like a train. He exclaims something along the lines of "You two are so embarrassing!" and bolts back to his room with the tips of his ears baked red. Sicheng and Taeil laugh to themselves once the door shuts. "I didn't hear a _no,_ " Taeil points out. Sicheng agrees, calming down and brings Taeil's hand along with the towel back to his hair.

"Must be nice," Sicheng starts. "For royals to fall in love naturally. No external factors to force them, no worries about whether or not all eyes are on you. Just the two of them exploring their feelings freely," he ends with a dreamy sigh.

"Is that something you want too?" Taeil folds the towel and sets it aside. Sicheng shrugs, he doesn't know. "I'll just have to see where the wind takes me."

Taeil finds himself liking that answer. Nothing concrete and it gives Taeil an ounce, a sliver of hope that maybe Sicheng one day will look at him the way he looks at Sicheng.

The prince lies back down on the bed, eyes half lidded. "Sing me a lullaby?" he asks. Taeil smiles, little whiskers appearing on his cheeks as he does. "Of course," Taeil naturally complies. He makes quick work of switching off the lights and comes back to sit beside Sicheng's laying body. 

It's silent. Just the two of them looking at each other with the moon as their distant audience. 

"What would you like me to sing?" 

"Tián Mì Mì. Do you still remember the words?"

"Of course I do. It's your favourite," Taeil's eyes fold to become crescents. Sicheng smiles back, turning to his side to fully face Taeil.

_As sweet as honey your smile is so sweet as honey_

_Just like the way flowers bloom in the spring breeze in the spring breeze_

Taeil sings the words he remembers from the bottom of his heart. His voice is soft, delicate and stable. Sicheng relaxes into the mattress, melting and letting Taeil's voice do its magic.

_I wonder where on earth where on earth I've seen you?_

Sicheng counts himself as privileged. Taeil has been blessed by the Gods with the voice of an angel but is far too shy to show that. It is only Sicheng he sings to other than himself and it makes Sicheng's heart feel special and warm. The more Taeil's melodious voice glides through the air, the more Sicheng's eyelids droop to shut.

_Your smile is so familiar to me but I still cannot remember where I've seen it_

Soon, Sicheng falls asleep. Taeil notices and continues to sing. His hand reaches out to brush Sicheng's hair away from his eyes. Taeil admires Sicheng's perfect face, a gift sculpted by the heavens themselves.

_Ah, in my dreams In my dreams , in my dreams I've met you_

Taeil finishes the song and Sicheng's breathing is slow and even. The elder leans in, lips barely grazing Sicheng's hair. "Sleep well, my prince. The morning is just a dream away." He smooths Sicheng's hair down gently and quietly rises and makes his way to the door. 

As carefully as he can, he opens and shuts it without a sound and returns to his room. When he settles down for the night, he thinks about the past few days and the whirlwind of emotions that accompanied him. 

Yes, he revolves his world around Sicheng a little too much and _yes,_ Taeil is aware an adult his age should probably find a better way to occupy his mind. He gives himself vague promises that he will come around to find even more things other than just Sicheng to dedicate himself to but after seeing Sicheng be lulled to slumber by the sound of his voice, he tells himself he can wait just a bit more. 

Taeil doesn't know how long he'll get to do this, so for now, he holds on tightly to what he has in his grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's so much self projection in this fic,,, i want taeil so sing me to sleep too ;;;; i hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! chapter 3 will definitely be posted on time (this wednesday, GMT +8) ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special someone reappears in Sicheng's life and it's up to the Prince to sort the avalanche of butterflies in his stomach. Meanwhile, Renjun and Taeil bond over what they fear most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!! this week we have winwin and taeil flirting without winwin actually acknowledging that they're mutually pinning... until taeil does something without thinking on accident. now winwin's brain is putty,,,, only to become more putty when he meets ☆ a certain someone ☆  
> enjoy!

Taeil thinks there's an external force out to get him because just four weeks after singing Sicheng goodnight, Sicheng is informed over lunch that he's arranged to meet yet another prince. This time, only the queen, Renjun and Sicheng are present.

"You've been invited to meet Prince Nakamoto Yuta," the King informs. That rouses palpable surprise from Sicheng. "But I've met him before and it didn't… end with an engagement."

The queen goes on to explain that Sicheng has been invited back, specifically being requested to go alone this time. She then goes on to list the benefits of a union with Japan, as she does with every other kingdom when the topic of marriage is of interest. 

Ordinarily, Sicheng would be nodding along, half-listening and half-thinking of other things, but not this time. This time, Sicheng can only think of the dumb things he did when he first met Yuta. Charismatic, crystal-eyed Yuta with his electrifying smile. When the queen's laundry list of the foreign kingdom finishes, Sicheng scarfs up the rest of his lunch, excuses himself from the table and makes a beeline for his room. Renjun snickers and continues finishing his meal.

"Is he okay?" Taeil asks when Renjun enters Sicheng's room later on. Sicheng had been lying face flat on the bed, refusing to answer Taeil's concerned prods and questions.

"He's peachy," Renjun waves his hand casually. "He's probably remembering how Yuta was really, really something else." 

Taeil cocks an eyebrow. "Huh?" Taeil says but Renjun smiles, nudging Taeil out of the room while claiming he and Sicheng need some one-on-one brother talk.

The door shuts and the princes are left alone.

"Are you thinking about your crush on Yuta from a year ago?" Renjun joins Sicheng on the bed, laying perpendicularly across his back. "Shut up," Sicheng groans. "It wasn't a crush."

"Oh yeah? Then what was that fuss about whether he liked you or not?"

"That was when I cared more about what the other kingdoms thought!"

"You sure didn't care that much when the first few princes and princesses before didn't show interest."

Silence from Sicheng.

"And didn't you almost send a letter to Yuta? And didn't you used to daydream about him?"

Silence again.

"I think we both have an answer here," Renjun pats Sicheng's head. "It's okay! We all get crushes, you being the best example."

"Lover boy Jeno," Sicheng sarcastically says and earns a smack on his shoulder.

"You know," Renjun says after a while. "It's okay that you liked him. Maybe your feelings for him disappeared after a while and now that you’ll be meeting him again, alone, is making you remember those feelings," he shrugs. Sicheng hesitates at first before saying what's next. "But Taeil…" Sicheng has liked Taeil since ages ago, even before Yuta came along. 

Renjun thinks over his brother’s words. In an unsure voice, he says, "That's okay too, I think. I think maybe liking two is okay."

Sicheng hopes it's okay too.

•

"Is Prince Yuta special to you?" Taeil asks Sicheng a few days later at night when he goes to one of the top floors to look at the stars. "I've never seen you react to any other prince like this."

Sicheng beckons for Taeil to lean against the railing by his side, so Taeil does. "He's different, I guess. Maybe a little less uptight and he doesn't hesitate to say what's on his mind," Sicheng explains, staring at the constellation Orion as he does. That's the same constellation Yuta said he likes. "And he's so full of love to the people around him. He spent half the time escorting me around his palace and kingdom to greet the servants and citizens. Kids ran to his legs to hug him and Yuta would lift them up to bounce them around no matter how occupied he was." 

There's a fondness in Sicheng's eyes that Taeil absolutely adores. He would have let a sinking feeling in his gut mess with his head and heart hearing Sicheng so fondly talk about another prince but at this moment, Taeil can only focus on the universe reflecting in Sicheng's eyes. Sicheng turns to face Taeil and their eyes align like planets. The prince scoots closer and bumps his forehead against Taeil's. 

"Sicheng? Is something wrong" Taeil asks as soft as a pin drop.

"Nothing," Sicheng closes his eyes. "Should I stop?"

"No," Taeil trails his eyes down to Sicheng's lips, unbeknownst to the prince. "I want to stay like this for a while."

"Me too."

Again, it's quiet.

•

"Sicheng, it's time to wake up." Taeil draws the curtains. It's the day of the visit and while a part of Taeil feels calm, the rest of him feels like he's bracing the calm before the storm. "I brought you warm milk with extra honey."

Like an angel responding to bells calling for him, Sicheng rolls over, arms over his head and looking unfairly perfect in his unfiltered morning drowsiness. "Hi," Sicheng smiles. 

Honeyed milk for Sicheng and a cup of coffee for Taeil. Breakfast flows calmly and when Sicheng is ready to be dressed, he requests something for the first time in a while.

"I want to wear my light blue blazer today. Oh! And a bit of makeup too," Sicheng swings his legs over the edge of the bed. Taeil raises a brow, but nods. He helps lace Sicheng's corset on, then his blouse and everything else. "You know I'm not good at makeup," Taeil whines as he retrieves Sicheng's kit. "Yes you are," Sicheng grins and sits upright in front of Taeil, waiting to be dolled up.

Makeup done, Sicheng looks to the mirror and his brows raise. His lips are tinted cherry red, coloring that fades towards the outer planes. A plain black choker wraps around his neck to contrast his baby blue blazer and white collared blouse. And to match the colour of his tinted glass hair pin, the hood of his eyes are lightly dusted shimmering rose gold.

"So pretty, you know that?" Taeil whispers from behind him. He wraps his arms around Sicheng's waist and rests his chin on his shoulder. They're looking eye to eye in the mirror and Taeil really wants to be doing something more than just  _ looking. _

Sicheng ducks his head, hiding his smile and the apples of his cheek. "Am I really?" Sicheng asks, coy and playful. "You know you are," Taeil's breath tickles the shell of Sicheng's ear. Sicheng squirms in Taeil's hold, inviting Taeil to hug tighter. 

"Go on, say it. Say you're pretty."

"I'm pretty," Sicheng finally looks up, a smug smile on his lips.

"You are," Taeil smirks and tilts his head to kiss Sicheng's neck. Wait, fuck.

"Oh shit," Taeil immediately lets go and Sicheng jerks three steps to the left. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine!" Sicheng seems to be panicking too. "I should get going now. It's about time I leave," Sicheng gestures his hand to the door haphazardly. The servant tasked to pick up Sicheng hasn't even arrived yet, but Taeil thinks it's advisable for them to mutually bolt.

"T-take care of Renjun and yourself! I'll be back um," Sicheng rushes to say. "Soon!"

Sicheng brisk walks out of the room, closing the door behind him with enough force for the whole east wing to hear. He pressed his back against the door and feels the  _ thud  _ of his heart hammering against his ribcage. 

_ Pursuing feelings is a bad idea. Romance is a bad idea, _ an ominous voice in Sicheng's head tells him. If he really thinks about it, Sicheng is quite fucked. For so long, he and Taeil have been toeing the line and all they needed was a small kiss to tip things over. Taeil likes Sicheng. Sicheng is more than sure of it and he's also done denying he has something more than an infatuation for Taeil. 

Sicheng is in love with Taeil. He knows it, Renjun knows it too. Another thing both princes know is that Sicheng harbours something between an infatuation and a crush for Yuta. Maybe this visit to Yuta will do just the trick! Maybe Sicheng will be so charmed by Yuta that he'll forget about his affection for Taeil, and he'll be much less fucked.  _ But no _ , Sicheng breathes in through his nose as he starts walking towards the exit of the palace.  _ What a jerk I'd be if I purposely replace Taeil. I can't hurt Taeil like that. _

What Sicheng hoped for in a relaxing morning with Taeil has turned into a headache.

Out of all the kingdoms Sicheng has visited, Yuta's is the closest and, well, the one that makes him the most nervous. In the three hour long boat ride to the neighbouring kingdom, Sicheng slumps on the plush velvet sofa in the comfort of his private room. He’d hoped this morning for Taeil to soothe his restless night of sleep with his sweet words and touches. Taeil did exactly that, but then the kiss burst the circuits of his mind and now not only is Sicheng nervous to meet Yuta, his mind is a tad fried from Taeil's lips. Although only for a second, Taeil's lips on his skin felt soft like a baby's. 

Sicheng closes his eyes. He supposes a short nap would help but he's soon awoken by one of the servants knocking on his door, alerting Sicheng that they've arrived.

_ You're kidding, _ Sicheng almost groans as he stretches. He had his eyes closed for at  _ most  _ a minute or what felt like it. He looks into the mirror and thankfully, he still looks as pretty as before and with no outward signs of his distress. 

"You can do this," Sicheng tries to convince himself. He steps out onto the ship deck and immediately feels the bite of cold air on his cheeks and neck.  _ I forgot my coat,  _ Sicheng realises his error. Feigning ignorance to the cold, he lets himself be guided to the coach that would take him to Yuta’s palace.

•

_ Oh god,  _ is the first thing that flashes in Sicheng's mind when he enters the drawing room Yuta is seated in.  _ He's gorgeous,  _ Sicheng bites his lower lip. As compared to a year and a half ago, Yuta's hair is now a lighter shade of brown than it was last time and also longer, touching an inch or two below the nape of his neck. The elder prince is sat comfortably near the windows, watching the gardeners below sweep the falling amber leaves.

“Prince Sicheng,” Yuta turns his head from the windows toward Sicheng, rising to his feet to welcome the younger. Yuta’s characteristic smile shows itself and Sicheng is already entranced. Sicheng feels sixteen all over again, when he first realised he had feelings for Taeil and would not stop staring at him. It's the same butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling and it makes functioning normally a little more difficult.  _ Stop thinking about Taeil!  _ Sicheng chastises himself. "It's been awhile, how are you?" Yuta continues.

Sicheng does not realise that the guards escorting him have left the room, until he’s been caught shamelessly staring a few seconds too long.  _ Ah,  _ Sicheng snaps back to reality. Yuta is staring back, smiling, and amused—much to Sicheng's embarrassment. "I've been well. Peachy! And you?"

Yuta directs them to the low lying table he was sitting at before and they sit across each other as Yuta goes on to say. "I've had a fair share of troubles since the last time we met," that being about seven months where they had last met each other at a summer festival.

Similar to how Sicheng fell into a casual ease with Ten, Sicheng finds a sense of familiarity with Yuta. His nervousness ebbs, never really disappearing but Sicheng appreciates a decline in the whole "my heart might want to explode when I look at you" feeling. It comes as a surprise to Sicheng when Yuta suddenly turns more serious after their previous topic had come to a close. 

"I think I should tell you why I invited you, and alone at that,'' Yuta looks Sicheng in the eye as he places his cup back down on the table. Despite the tone of Yuta's voice, his posture remains casual—legs now crossed instead of sitting on his ankles, cheeks resting on his knuckles and his elbow perched on his knee. "To put it simply, I didn't give you the attention you deserve the last two times and I want to give things a try again without our parents around to pressure us. Just the two of us."

There's something more to Yuta's words. The part about not giving Sicheng the attention he deserved. It's odd, like there's another underlying story to it but for now, Sicheng doesn't stick his nose where it doesn't belong. What comes as a surprise to Sicheng is that Yuta has set this up on his own. He wants to give the meeting another chance, yes, but it strikes Sicheng as weird that Yuta is willingly setting himself up for marriage. Is that what other princes do in their own time? Or is that just a Yuta thing?

"And not to sound cocky but am I right about you having a slight crush on me?"

Sicheng chokes on his drink.  _ How does Yuta know, who snitched on Sicheng and who does Sicheng have to most definitely murder? _

"Hey! Easy there," there Yuta goes again, showing his million dollar smile like the stupidly charming person he is. "You're not going to use that against me, are you? And how do you know?" Sicheng arches a brow, accusing and with his defenses up.

"So you  _ do  _ have a crush on me?" Yuta clarifies and Sicheng reddens. The cat has got his tongue and Sicheng wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

"It's not… a crush," Sicheng tries redeeming himself. It's not a lie, technically, kind of. In a sense of perspective, if Sicheng has a crush on Taeil, then what he feels for Yuta is probably puppy love.  _ But you don't have a crush on Taeil. You're in love with him! Chest deep at this point. Which means you have more than puppy love for Yuta. Maybe a crush, maybe an actual love interest. Congrats, your love life is a mess! _

"Sicheng," Yuta reaches out to tap on the palm of Sicheng's fist clenched on the table. Sicheng jolts from his internal roasting and Yuta gestures for his hand to hold. A little uneasily, Sicheng gives his fingers for Yuta to hold, a thumb rubbing over his knuckles. "I know because I'm a scorpio. Scorpios just know things," Yuta says.  _ He's got to be kidding.  _ "And also by the very telling ways you conduct yourself around me. I noticed, baby chick."

Sicheng blushes more than he already is in an instant. He tries pulling his hand away to hide his face, to stop enjoying the way Yuta's skin feels on his own, or something!

"You're bad. You're horrible. I don't want to talk to you if you're going to use this against me," Sicheng pouts and glares at him. He's serious, though. Yuta can be charming and an ace at drawing people in with bare minimum effort but Sicheng knows how to stand his ground. He's not going to allow himself to be toyed with.

Yuta holds Sicheng's hand tighter. Neither suffocating nor threatening. "Sicheng," their eyes meet. "Trust me when I say I won't ever play with your feelings like that."

There honestly isn't much basis to trust Yuta just yet but Sicheng holds his tongue.

"All I want is to give you the chance I didn't give you the last time. You're a good person, Sicheng. You deserve better than what I gave you the last time."

Yuta's eyes are clear like quartz and Sicheng can see the lighting bouncing in them. But upon a closer look, Yuta's eyes resembled opals more, each facet bearing their own colour, holding an emotion of their own to uncover.

•

"Renjun," Taeil calls from the window ledge he's posing by. 

It's been about five hours since Sicheng left and also five hours since Taeil's mind has been aimlessly swimming. Three hours in, Renjun came trotting towards him with a palette of paint and a small bucket of water in hand, asking Taeil to be his model of his latest artwork. 

_ "I need practice before I paint Jeno," he’d said with fire in his eyes. _

"Yea?" Renjun answers, paintbrush mixing shades of peach and amber together.

“Does it ever bother you that Sicheng may come back engaged? That his life could change so drastically? He'll be by your side on one day but vanish on the next? A reality where he could no longer be with you.”

Renjun’s expression on his face doesn’t give any answer away, but the grip on his brush tightens.

Renjun doesn't like the idea one bit. It bothered him when Sicheng first left the castle to embark on a journey to a foreign kingdom and it still bothers him now but to a lesser degree. He's accepted that there's some things he just can't control. 

Sicheng has been his source of comfort as early as the first time Renjun spoke his first word and to imagine Sicheng moving to a land too far for Renjun's comfort, it makes a part of him empty. For the past two years, Renjun had always assumed it would be some stranger taking his brother away. But now Renjun knows it could be Sicheng whisking himself away to a land unknown.

“Kind of, but there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not exactly within my power to stop or swerve anything." The light that warms the side profile of Renjun’s face highlights the look in his eyes and the frown on his lips. “Sicheng and I are princes but it’s clear we have close to no power to decide some of the most salient things in our lives. You want to make friends outside the castle? Too bad, you have to study dining etiquette instead. You want to learn to cook? No can do, that’s for the chefs to do. You want to be with someone you genuinely have feelings for? Not unless they can benefit the kingdom,” the inner corners of Renjun’s eyebrows dip and it’s as clear as day that some of Renjun’s past frustrations are resurfacing. Some aren't even his own frustrations, Taeil can tell that much.

Taeil breaks from the pose he was instructed into to spare a glance at the young prince. Everything Renjun has just said, Taeil has witnessed while he was serving Sicheng. Even as of late, Taeil realises the reason why Renjun and Prince Jeno only exchange letters is because it’s all kept secret, away from the cold gaze of the king and queen’s eyes.  _ The King and Queen,  _ Taeil looks back to where he was staring at before. He has never been very fond of them. Maybe it's because the King didn't get the palace doctor to see his father sooner, maybe it's because the King and Queen continue to set up Sicheng for arranged meetings or maybe it's misplaced aversion. 

“Are you scared Sicheng might leave one day?” Renjun questions. Their eyes meet and there’s knowing look to both their eyes. Sicheng is bound to leave the kingdom one day, be it by marriage or of his own will. Taeil thinks he and Renjun are more similar than one would think. Separated by a line that paints their worth in the eyes of nobles but united by a bond that runs deep—

“There’s nothing I’m more afraid of,” Taeil smiles.

“Then that makes the two of us.” Renjun smiles back and resumes painting the glow cast on Taeil’s hair by the glaring afternoon sun.

—And a fear they could lose someone when they least expect it.

•

Sicheng bets Yuta is a scholar in being a gentleman and a huge flirt. Lunch passed between just the two of them swimmingly in comparison to the atmosphere their previous conversation had. Sicheng might just have to ask Taeil or the chefs to replicate the food he had, or perhaps come back to Yuta to be fed.  _ Just to be fed,  _ Sicheng reminds himself.  _ Not  _ because he already wants to see Yuta again. He’s still wary that Yuta could be weaving a web of pretty lies for Sicheng to waltz into.

"I want to show you around the kingdom. There are so many pretty things I’d like to show someone as pretty as you," Yuta bounces in his spot beside Sicheng as they walk down the palace halls. The younger prince rolls his eyes and scoffs. There's a smile he's hiding behind bitten lips though. He loves being called pretty but there's no need for Yuta to know that. The effort goes to waste however, when Yuta keels forward by forty-five degrees to see the risen apples of Sicheng's cheeks. "Is that a blush I see? And a smile?" Yuta asks, tone teasing and lilt enthusiastic.

Despite Yuta's playful attempts to expose Sicheng's grin, Sicheng changes the topic. He does like the affectionate attention but he won't dwell on it too much because the only person he truly likes hearing it from is Taeil. Taeil whose velvet voice lulls him to comfort and makes him vulnerable in the most addicting way. Sicheng has given Taeil the full reign to make him soft and pliable, even though Sicheng doesn't know how to fully respond to it yet.

With the King and Queen out of town, Yuta and the princesses—a younger and older sister—have the kingdom in their hands. "Yumiko-" Yuta's elder sister, "-has already cemented her place in ruling the kingdom. She's going to do great but don't tell her I said that. She'll never let me live down the fact that I complimented her!" Yuta scrunches his nose, carelessly fetching a scarf for himself and Sicheng. When Sicheng expresses his preconceived notion that it will be Yuta ruling Japan one day, Yuta says, "Frankly, I thought so too. But looking back on it, Mom and Dad probably said that to push Yumiko more. Ouch for me! I really thought I'd get to wear that fancy ring. Have you seen it? It's an emerald-"

Yuta continues, enthusing the intricate details of the ring. He doesn't look at all bothered that he won't have the throne down the road, but it does beg the question why Yuta bothered to give Sicheng 'another chance'. There isn't the imminent need for the second child onwards to be wedded after coming of age. Ever curious, Sicheng asks what's on his mind.

"Why bother arranging yourself then? You have no obligation to-" Sicheng quirks an eyebrow and gestures his hands. "all of this."

It catches Yuta off guard. Though like the mischievous cat he proves to be, Yuta brings a finger to Sicheng's lips. He leans closer, a pair of glassy orbs staring into Sicheng’s own. "You got me there!" Yuta brightly admits. Then he says, "I like making the first move. Take a guess," Yuta moves his finger to  _ boop  _ Sicheng on the nose and twirls the red fleece scarf around Sicheng's neck.

Yuta bids goodbye to the butlers and maids as he waltzes out of the palace doors with Sicheng trailing closely behind. "You're so annoying," Sicheng mutters under his breath. He doesn't mean it and Yuta doesn't hear him over the sound of his greetings to the gardeners.

•

"Hold my arm. You wouldn't want to get separated from me in a busy crowd like this," Yuta offers the aforementioned limb for Sicheng to hold. Sicheng huffs and busies his hands with the paper wrapped taiyaki he and Yuta were offered by the friendly market auntie. The red bean-filled treat is warm and it's the strongest source of Sicheng's warmth in the chilly autumn winds. Beside him, Yuta prances a step ahead, greeting the townspeople left and right. Yuta walks like it's a summer's day and not at all like the cold is getting to him so Sicheng tries to do the same. The tip of his nose is splotched scarlet and he can't help an occasional shiver but if Yuta seems to be doing fine, Sicheng can try to be too.

Being in Yuta's presence is the same as taking a bite of the first harvest's seasonal apples. Sicheng won't know what to expect till he takes a bite and it brews a curious anticipation in him. When Sicheng takes the first bite, it's refreshing and calls for Sicheng to savour more of the sweet flesh. Yuta eases himself into Sicheng's bubble of comfort, and Sicheng doesn’t push him away. Yuta teases, praises and has the alluring gaze of Venus tantalising him. It makes Sicheng's head and heart spin. He doesn't mean to, but he compares the feeling to how Taeil makes him feel. While Taeil is like the waves of the deep blue sea, gently lapping at Sicheng and allowing the prince to advance with minor pull on his side, Yuta is the wind of spring dancing around Sicheng, tickling him all over. Sicheng likes both the sea and the wind, but he thinks he's going to combust if he exposes himself to the playful wind for far too long.

Sicheng knows what to do. He's done this four times before and he'll do it again, but this time with a different intention. Yuta doesn't bore him like the other princes, but he does overwhelm Sicheng. To Sicheng's luck, he spots two children running through a long linear alley where its end leads to what looks to be a children's home.

_Bingo,_ the corner of Sicheng's mouth tugs up. _Sorry, Yuta!_ _I'll be off. You'll probably find me in an hour or two._ Sicheng slips away when he falls out of Yuta's peripheral vision, slinking himself into the alleyway through the moving civilians. Three steps, five steps, Sicheng has passed the boundary line of Yuta's reach. The walls flanking the alley tell Sicheng that he's freedom bound and on the way to do some good. Air swirls with a rejuvenated vigour in his lungs. After several weeks, Sicheng is able to do one of the things he loves best. 

The young prince is almost able to see the last window pane on the right of the building but a firm grip around his wrist and hip takes him first. Sicheng knows he's not going to be able to advance further to see the last window.

“See, baby chick? I should have kept my arms around you so we won't get separated," Yuta whispers into his ears. The younger clicks his tongue. He's positively stuck and clueless as to how to worm himself out of a situation where he's been caught red-handed. 

For the second time of the day, Sicheng is royally fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> player 3 has entered the game!! and he has a lot of game ☆⌒(≧▽° ) i hope everyone will like the different dynamics yuwin and winil have 
> 
> and prepare yourself for the start winren uncovering government corruption plus hints of angst! see you next week!!


End file.
